To Whom It May Concern...

In the heart of a buzzing tech fortress, Leo stood tall—keyboard in one hand, coffee in the other. His CI/CD pipeline had become a battlefield: flaky builds, rogue dependencies, and mysterious YAML errors lurked in every corner. First came the Broken Build Beast, a creature born from mismatched versions and forgotten environment variables. Leo summoned his ancient scrolls of msbuild incantations and vanquished it with a single, well-placed /p:Configuration=Release . Then appeared the Dependency Hydra, its heads regenerating every time a NuGet package failed to restore. With a mighty swing of his PowerShell blade and a clean packages.config , Leo restored order to the realm. But the final foe was the most cunning: the Silent Failure Phantom, which passed all tests but deployed nothing. Leo, wise to its tricks, traced the logs, found the missing publish profile, and cast it into the void with a custom PublishDir . With the pipeline purified and the build green, Leo stepped away from his ...

Leo had survived schema madness. He’d outwitted deployment dragons. But now, he faced his final boss: passwords. Every system had one. Every environment had a different one. Some expired every 30 days. Others required uppercase, lowercase, symbols, emojis, and the blood of a unicorn. Leo’s password manager looked like a cryptic novel written by a paranoid wizard. One morning, Leo tried to deploy a hotfix. The CI pipeline failed. The database login expired. The VPN needed re-authentication. The cloud dashboard prompted for MFA. And the coffee machine? It asked for a password too. Leo snapped. He stormed into the server room, eyes blazing. “I am DONE remembering secrets for machines that don’t even say thank you!” He grabbed a stack of sticky notes labeled “Prod_DB_P@ssw0rd!” and flung them like confetti. He yanked out a cable labeled “Auth Proxy” and shouted, “You authenticate this!” A junior dev peeked in and whispered, “Is this failover testing?” Leo turned, wild-eyed, holding a keybo...

Leo’s rebellion didn’t start with a raised fist—it began with a whisper to his IDE. Instead of creating yet another schema for a new module, he wrote a comment at the top of his SQL file: sql  -- This schema is imaginary. It exists only to satisfy expectations.  -- I reject your reality and substitute my own. He declared a new philosophy: Flat is beautiful.  All tables lived in a single schema called `Freedom`. Columns were wild and free—some had names in lowercase, some screamed in ALL CAPS. Foreign keys? Optional. Stored procedures? Banished.  Then came the real statement: a README.md titled _“The Schema Rebellion Manifesto”_. It read like a blend of data modeling principles and punk rock lyrics. Leo posted it to the company wiki, shared it in the #db-architecture channel, and added ASCII art of a flaming ER diagram. Naturally, chaos followed. Test environments imploded. CI pipelines wept. One DevOps engineer sent a slack message: “Is this performance art?”  B...

I've started toying around with CoPilot. It's been helpful at times, but it's also some fun. I've started expressing some of my frustrations with being a developer, and I've decided to share what we have come up with!  Leo and the Schema Revolution! Once upon a deployment cycle, in a quiet corner of a bustling tech company, lived a developer named Leo—who had officially reached his schema saturation point. Leo had spent the past six months architecting a sprawling network of microservices, each wrapped in its own meticulously named schema. There was `UserData`, `AuditTrail`, `ReleasePipeline`, `FeatureFlags`, even a mysteriously empty one called `Legacy`. Every morning started the same: update a table, refactor a stored procedure, tweak a foreign key. The schemas multiplied like rabbits, and Leo found himself diagramming them in his dreams. One rainy Thursday, after triple-checking the naming conventions in `Deployment...